I am so lucky to have the support system that I have.  I don't know what I would do with out my wonderful siblings.  They are constantly checking on me to make sure that I am okay.  Which is awesome, because I am not usually okay. Their support is amazing. My parents are so great, they want me to be happy so bad.  They just want to make everything okay for me.  Last weekend was terrible, Zac kept the kids at home and I left.  I bawled the whole weekend and had to listen to my MIL tell me that she would like to slap us both.  Some friends of my parents who I have know and loved while growing up, told me to get myself over to their house to stay and they were serious.  It was so nice. 

I would like to get off this crazy emotional roller-coaster. Please.

Sad-Happy-Sad-Happy-Angry-Confused-More Confused-Angry- Sad.   Getting Divorced is like a really long episode of PMS!

Here I go!

You may look at my previous posts and wonder, "What the HELL happened?"  Well, guess what?  I don't know either.  One day I thought we were happy and the next he didn't want to be married anymore.  So, now I am a soon to be ex-stay-at-home mom trying desperately to find a job, in an area with no jobs!  College degree seems to not mean much anymore and the years I spent helping build up his career doesn't either.  I sound bitter.  Well, maybe I am today.  Tomorrow, I might be sad or humiliated or angry.  Who knows?  I don't. 

Mostly I feel bad for my sweet children, who are so wonderful they don't deserve this in their lives.  I wanted better for them, I wanted them to have the whole world.  I feel like they got ripped off, this wasn't how it was supposed to be.  Yet, this is how it is and I guess I will just pull myself together and go on.