Saw a picture that was taken of Zac today with a beer in his hand, hanging out with his most important people (his friends) and I felt really good about this marriage ending. 

I am so lucky to have the support system that I have.  I don't know what I would do with out my wonderful siblings.  They are constantly checking on me to make sure that I am okay.  Which is awesome, because I am not usually okay. Their support is amazing. My parents are so great, they want me to be happy so bad.  They just want to make everything okay for me.  Last weekend was terrible, Zac kept the kids at home and I left.  I bawled the whole weekend and had to listen to my MIL tell me that she would like to slap us both.  Some friends of my parents who I have know and loved while growing up, told me to get myself over to their house to stay and they were serious.  It was so nice. 

I would like to get off this crazy emotional roller-coaster. Please.

Sad-Happy-Sad-Happy-Angry-Confused-More Confused-Angry- Sad.   Getting Divorced is like a really long episode of PMS!

Here I go!

You may look at my previous posts and wonder, "What the HELL happened?"  Well, guess what?  I don't know either.  One day I thought we were happy and the next he didn't want to be married anymore.  So, now I am a soon to be ex-stay-at-home mom trying desperately to find a job, in an area with no jobs!  College degree seems to not mean much anymore and the years I spent helping build up his career doesn't either.  I sound bitter.  Well, maybe I am today.  Tomorrow, I might be sad or humiliated or angry.  Who knows?  I don't. 

Mostly I feel bad for my sweet children, who are so wonderful they don't deserve this in their lives.  I wanted better for them, I wanted them to have the whole world.  I feel like they got ripped off, this wasn't how it was supposed to be.  Yet, this is how it is and I guess I will just pull myself together and go on.

Las Vegas

Zac and I went to Las Vegas for Vision Expo West. I spent money while he earned it. Great trade-off. =)

We saw Phantom of the Opera, which I enjoyed Zac did not. Although we FROZE, it was soooooo cold. Zac took his jacket off and we shared that. A peddler with sweatshirts and blankets would make a fortune in there. I felt like it was January and I was watching a football game. Sheesh!

We also saw Mystere, we both loved it! Although I'm not entirely sure what the whole thing with the baby was.

I also spent my time taking pictures of crazily dressed people and didn't take any pictures of things we saw or did. One nice person was kind enough to take this picture for us. You can decide if we belong in the crazily dressed people file.

Orlando

SO my posts are out of chronological order. Ooops. We went to Orlando in July 2011. It was HOT and MUGGY and RAINY and we LOVED every second of it. It wasn't a real well planned trip. Zac bought an airline ticket to go for work, then I decided I wanted to go with him, then Zac's mom and step-dad decided they wanted to go and they would fly the kids with them. We were all on different planes and we didn't really schedule enough time. It was a jam packed 6 days. We would sleep in then hit the parks and go until super late. We had great luck hitting lines short, and got to ride almost everyride with very little wait time. The kids loved meeting the characters, especially Evie.

Dominican Republic

We went to paradise, sans kids. I hate to not take kids with us when we travel but, this was wonderful. I got to relax. Usually I spend the whole time freaking out, so this was a nice change. So instead of running kids to the bathroom, trying to keep them from drowning, finding them food, and all the other assorted craziness of traveling with kids; I got to sit by the pool/ocean and sleep. If you don't have children you wouldn't understand the wonderfulness of this but it was INCREDIBLE!

That is me on a parasail. Zac is scared of heights. I kept wondering when the killer whale was going to jump out of the water and eat me.

We got on the scuba-diving boat and discovered what the driver does in his spare time. Hmmmm.

I made Zac crawl into this thing. Still makes me laugh, especially since he couldn't get out again.

aaaaaaaaaaaaah! Isn't it beautiful.

This is the picture and sentence Eli was supposed to write, about things he has to do at home. Yep, he has to eat grass. Little Stinker.

The other day I was in the shower when my mother-in-law stopped by, Evie is not allowed to open the door anymore (after she let the Schwans man into the house while I was in the bathroom), so she tried yelling through the door. When that didn't work she drew a picture to show Grandma what I was doing. She did pretty good, for short notice.

New York

Here are some pictures from New York, two months later. We, of course, went to a Yankees game. The Yankees won, but it wasn't a complete blow-out. So it was pretty exciting.

Saw the Statue of Liberty and we were able to go up into the pedastal. That is where this giant face was, also there was a giant foot. Nobody stuck their hands up the nose. I think it was a golden opportunity missed.

Truman and I danced on the big piano. I tried to play chopsticks but there were some hooligans running across the keys messing up my performance.

We saw Mary Poppins. Incredible. I cried. I am so lame.

Stupid David Letterman people, didn't give us tickets. They suck. So we took a picture out front.

Look how happy we are in the subway.

One of New York's finest. We happened upon this fire station as we left our hotel the first morning there, good way to start our vacation.

Easter

I love Easter. The chocolate. The searching. The Chocolate. The egg dying. The CHOCOLATE. THE CHOCOLATE. Yummmmmmm!

When Aunts come to visit, large amounts of spoiling will occur. Evie was soooo sad when they left. Evie and Eli adore their aunts.

Ethan experienced a rite of passage. Did I spell that right? Oh, well. His first pine wood derby car. The Grandpa's were essential in the making of this car, since mommy had no clue what it entailed. Did I spell that right? It is going to be one of those days. He loved every second of building this thing. Very proud of him!

I am a big fan of the blog, Pioneer Woman. So, when she came out with a book I had to go to the signing. My sister Jodi, is also a fan and we decided to make a trip out of it.

My friend Johanna moved to Salt Lake, so we made her come too. Not that she had any idea who the pioneer woman was, but she was beaten into submission and decided to attend.

*You will note that there is a Harry Potter book beneath the Pioneer Woman book. I didn't want my devotion questioned so I brought that along to prove myself.

Lego

At Walmart we discovered these mini-figure packs. It's a surprise, because you don't know which one you will get. Like all Lego things they are a bit expensive, so we bought each of the kids ONE. These are the ones that we got.

Which was great! These guys are really cool, right? It was all fine and dandy until a certain little girl..........

with a sad face said to her daddy, "I didn't get a wittle girl one." Well, her daddy couldn't have that. The next day, he ran to the store and bought this many of those min-figurines. (there were a couple MIA at picture time)

So his little girl could have these two and is determined to find her the other girl one he didn't get.

I would also like to mention that at the same time of the initial mini-figure purchase, I had my eye on a Harry Potter Lego set. Zac told me it was a little expensive and we would have to wait. That Harry Potter set was about equal to the cost of all these mini-figures. Just Sayin'. Someone is wrapped around someone else's little finger. Wound tight.

JAZZ

Ethan plays in a basketball league called the Junior Jazz. After one of his games they were selling tickets to go see the Utah Jazz play. We are not fans, but the tickets were cheap so we figured, "Why not?" So the picture above is us waiting for the train, and I was kind of worried that would be the most fun of the night.

Then we got inside, and found our seats. Evie was not having fun and was showing her disinterest in not fun ways. Then I hear, "Oooooh cheerleaders!" I knew everything was good in her world, she spent the rest of the game trying to get on the mega-tron.

The boys, including the big one, loved it. So much that at half time we had to go to the FANZZ store and buy Jerseys. You know for all the non-fans.

I love CHOCOLATE! I crave it and need a little each day. Well, we at the Bidwell residence are out because I hate shopping. Quite the conundrum. So I may lose it. Just a little FYI, so be prepared. I probably still won't go shopping though.

Sickness Revisited

Hmmmmm! Eli must have tried out his theory and it must have worked, because Evie is sick. I will be checking her for bite marks.

Sickness

At lunch Eli, who has been sick the last couple of days, had this question, "Momma, if I bite Evie will she get my sickness?" I think we have been reading that book about Louis Pastuer and Rabies way too much.

Sickness

Oh man! Sick husband in the house. I keep finding little presents around the house, you may call them piles of used tissues, but I am keeping a positive attitude and a can of lysol.